TAS Voices: On Navigating DEIJ as a Parent

By Pana Asavavatana, Lower School Technology Coach

Representation and Identity

The work on Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Justice that we have embarked upon here at TAS has played a huge role in providing avenues of reflection on my own identity, and how my personal biases affect the way I approach the world and my work as an educator. Through these reflections, I remembered my life as an Asian child growing up in an international setting. I remembered how almost all my dolls had blond hair and blue eyes, the models and movie stars were my exemplars of beauty, they too were white or of fair complexion, and in Thailand, the women considered most beautiful were half caucasian or “mixed”. When I was young, I don’t remember any of it really affecting me except that I admired their beauty and knew I looked nothing like them. As I grew into a teenager, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and simply coming to the conclusion that I wasn’t beautiful. Not ugly, perhaps just average or merely acceptable, but definitely not beautiful. 

There was, however, a turning point. It came as quite a shock to me that at 15 years old, when junior prom came around, I received not one, but several invitations. This likely sounds like a wonderful outcome, an ego boost even, and something I shouldn’t be complaining about. However, the thing that I remember the most is feeling very confused. At the time, my identity didn’t match up with what was happening, and as a result, I wasn’t able to just enjoy the experience because of this disconnect. It had never occurred to me until that point that maybe I too could be considered attractive. 

This memory was my first peek into how the lack of representation in my environment affected the formation of my personal identity, and the research that I have read since on the importance of representation solidified it for me. Knowing now how crucial it is to not only ensure children see representations of themselves in the world around them but also be exposed to people who are different, I started to look very carefully at the toys in my daughter’s collection. I wanted her toys to be reflective of reality, showing that people are of all shapes, sizes, and colors, just like her family and friends. 

I share this story with you and with the wider TAS community to encourage reflection upon our daily choices; do they support DEIJ initiatives or passively uphold various systems of power? My hope is that in sharing it with each of you we can each begin to question the small and large ways that we all can reflect on and support our childrens' identities.

A Mother’s Search

Pretend play has gradually become a prominent way my daughter enjoys entertaining herself and I realized that many of the toys she had to engage in this were animals. My daughter is never short of imaginative ideas for her play scenarios, there was in fact, one day when she dragged our space heater (unplugged) over to the kitchen where I was and announced: “This is my daughter!” In any case, it seemed that now was an appropriate time to diversify her toy collection, so the search began.  My daughter is biracial, I am of Thai-Chinese ethnicity and my husband is white. I knew none of the dolls I found would look anything like her, but I at least wanted dolls that represented my side of the family and her friends who are of many different races. I was pretty disheartened when I spent hours in front of my computer just searching, trying different sites, different search terms, and finding very little.

Calling for Help: Yellow-Skinned Dolls

I decided to be vulnerable and open up about this struggle to find diverse dolls on social media. I was certain that I had friends, fellow parents, who had gone through the same thing and perhaps already had some resources. I received many responses, one from a dear friend, also of Asian descent, saying she had discovered an Asian family set by Fisher-Price (Mattel) and had already ordered them for her son. The dolls arrived a few weeks later and I got an email from her. Upon opening the box she discovered that these dolls meant to represent an Asian family had yellow skin. I asked if I could contact Fisher-Price on her behalf, and I did.

The Letter

I felt a whole range of emotions when I learned of these dolls. Anger, disappointment, disbelief…writing this letter to Fisher-Price/Mattel wasn’t easy, I was upset. I sought some guidance from Debbie LeeKeenan, who had just keynoted the Early Years Exchange conference that I organize, and she told me this:

• write from the heart- as a parent
• assume they do not know/may not realize why this is offensive
• importance of accurate representation- skin tones
• why "yellow" is offensive
• mirrors and windows (we need to provide children a reflection of their identity (mirrors) as well as opportunities to learn about others (windows))

Here is what I ended up sending and I thank everyone who had eyes on this letter and helped me craft it:

Dear Mattel/Fisher Price, 

Hello, my name is Pana Asavavatana and I am writing on behalf of a friend who recently purchased your Little People Asian Friends product. My friend and I are both of Asian descent and were both thrilled to find that you had created this set because as Asian parents, we have struggled to find toys that represent our families and our children. Your product seemed to be an ideal addition to our home toy collections, except when my friend received her set, she was very disappointed to see that the skin color of these dolls was yellow. This prevented me from purchasing the product myself. 

As an Asian, a parent, and an early childhood educator, I implore you to please make a change to this aspect of your Little People Asian Friends product, or any product that is meant to represent the Asian community. The color yellow as a description and representation of Asian skin color has historical links to the oppression of Asians. It was first created to describe the Asian race so that we could be categorized as inferior or “less than” the “white” race. Moreover, our skin is not yellow, it never has been, and never will be. I cannot allow my child to feel that this representation of her racial identity is acceptable because it isn’t, it never has been, and in today’s world, it clearly should not be. We have come too far, to take this step backward in time. 

Young children learn these societal messages very early on, and stereotypes can form very easily. Children need to see representation of themselves in the toys and books they interact with. Your company clearly understands this because you have this product and other products aimed at representation. I appreciate that this step has been taken, however, I do hope you will consider making changes to your product so that it does not reinforce historical stereotypes, in this case, that Asians have yellow skin. 

Respectfully,

Pana Asavavatana

The Reply

While a part of me never actually expected a response, I did remain hopeful I would hear back. I wrote through Facebook Messenger, and it took about 5 days for a response, which in my mind is actually pretty timely. Here is what they said:

Thanks so much for taking the time to reach out and share your feedback. We’re so sorry to hear about your disappointment with the skin tone on your figures and we understand your concerns. Feedback like yours is very important because it helps us identify areas that require more of our attention. Rest assured that these changes have already been addressed in the line and the new figures are currently hitting shelves.

I am grateful I got a response and that this issue is already being addressed. Representation is important, our words and actions as adults are teaching children every day how to view people and the world around them. I know that there is much more to come and much more I have to learn. Thanks for reading.